The majority of residents in Toledo, Ohio have turned to hunting squirrels, raccoons, and feral cats to survive. The local government has collapsed, and, along with it, all essential services. Last week during a late night, unpublicized session of congress, the federal government quietly washed its hands of the mess, effectively declaring the city a separate, unsanctioned demilitarized state. Officials, in off the record comments, called the region “totally ungovernable.”
The area has been home, for the better part of the last two centuries, to the dregs of human civilization. For reasons that are not entirely clear, pedophiles, drug abusers, murders, sex addicts and mongloids of every stripe have flooded the region since its founding on the early 1800′s.
The Maumee, once a source of potable water for area residents, has become glutted with human remains, raw sewage, and toxic chemical waste. That, however, has not stopped locals from using its water’s for personal bathing and an idiotic recreation known as “jet skiing.”
